By Etang Inyang
Since I hit puberty, I have shopped at the “fat lady” clothing stores. It was impressed upon me from an early age that I had limited options. In cramped dressing rooms with a pool of clothing at my feet, I was pressed by my impatient aunt, “Hurry up and decide between that pink flowery dress and that orange n’ green striped dress.” What a choice! It didn’t matter that I hated the dresses from their top stitch to their bottom hem. I hated the prints of the dresses, hated the shape of the dresses, hated the length of the dresses, hated the fabric of the dresses, and hated the cut of the dresses. Just hate.
It didn’t matter because the dresses more or less fit my hard-to-fit body. With my broad shoulders, full back, luscious breasts and narrower hips, my body is not proportioned like fashion industry standards, even on a plus-size scale. I was encouraged to be grateful for finding something that sort of worked. Personal style was not on my radar. This was the beginning of my understanding of scarcity realness when it comes to plus-size clothing. I learned to buy clothing, and even hoard clothing because when you find something that fits, you need it in every color of your size.

Fast forward to ten years ago when I was a baby dancer. I remember walking in circles around the Rakkasah West Festival at the Richmond Auditorium. It was my first Rakkasah, and I was in a sensory-overload daze. I had my stack of fat girl dollars in my purse, and I was ready to spend, spend, spend. I must have walked miles at Rakkasah, back and forth, that year. I looked and looked for some sparkly, beaded explosion of a dress for myself. I resigned myself to purchasing the dancer’s accessories–veils, hip scarves, zills, a sword, and too much jewelry. I found a few clothing options, some bellbottom pants here and a skirt with an elastic waist there, but nothing that was stage-worthy.
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Cross-posted with permission; Originally posted on Your Body Raks: Belly Dance, Body Justice, Joy
This is so inspiring! I’m a longtime dancer, but have mostly been trained in styles such as ballet, tap, and jazz from a young age. With these styles, and many dance studios, comes a very specific group of dancers (read: white, THIN, able-bodied), and I’ve always felt self-conscious because I’m a curvier woman. I’m also half Persian, and have taken some Iranian dance classes, but have always shied away from belly dancing because of, well, my belly. This article was really encouraging. I’m checking out belly dance classes in NYC ASAP!
I love this!
As someone who has been practicing Middle Eastern dance for a few years, I can definitely agree that belly dancing makes a big difference in one’s self-perception, even for me, someone who is of average (or even smaller) size. Dance in general is so powerful because it helps shift your body focus from what it ISN’T to what it IS and what it can do, which is a beautiful thing.
Keep up the beautiful work, ladies!