By Dania De La Cruz
As a child, I admired the magnetic presence that pageant contestants exuded when they came out on stage. I was mesmerized by the stunning gowns they wore that came in various styles and colors. Their charisma drew me in as they confidently delivered their response to the questions they were asked. I never thought of actually being a pageant contestant. That’s until I became passionate about women’s empowerment and social justice.
As a feminist, my passion for pageants might seem perplexing. Do pageants empower or demean women? The answer is a bit more complex than a simple yes or no. There are some aspects of pageantry that I truly appreciate, and others not so much.
As an adult, I have enjoyed watching pageants, but I noticed contestants looked pretty much the same–tall, thin, and toned (particularly in mainstream pageants). If pageants were supposed to build confidence in women, it seemed odd to have such a lack of body diversity. Wasn’t that contradicting the mission of pageants to empower women?
The reason I was drawn to competing in pageants myself is because I wanted to address the lack of diversity I witnessed in them. Certainly, pageants have changed over the years as they are less beauty-centered than they have been in the past. By and large, pageants still don’t represent everyday, ordinary women, however. Pageant winners tend to be thin. Unfortunately, health is equated with beauty and thinness in pageants, just as it is in society. If a fat woman competed, the judges might assume she is unhealthy just because of her size.
Yet, some pageant contestants, coaches, or judges insist that women in swimsuits or fitness wear are not judged by the way they look. They say it’s about their confidence. This is true, but at the end of the day women are still being judged by their body shape and size. The swimsuit portion probably contributes the most to people’s beliefs that pageants objectify women. While judging women based on traditional beauty standards is not uplifting for them, it doesn’t mean that pageants as whole are disempowering.
How do women feel when they participate in pageants? Each will tell you of their unique goals and experiences. At the end of the day, winning a pageant enables contestants to use their title as a platform to contribute to a larger cause that is important to them. Having a title allows a winner to have a much bigger impact raising awareness and advocating for change in their communities–locally and globally. Beyond the “beauty contests” that are linked to pageantry, I see my fellow contestants as compassionate, intelligent women striving to make the world a better place. Assuming that pageants degrade women without actually asking women how they feel or what they think takes away our power.
I have gained tremendously from my pageant journey, and I know that other women feel the same way. Pageantry changed the perception I had of myself. A part of me will always be on the quiet side, but I am more open and able to express myself in different ways thanks to the practice I have had getting ready to compete. I enjoy the feeling of excitement I get when I’m on stage. I also love the feeling of camaraderie and support between the contestants going through this process together.
Even though I was nervous and scared, I didn’t let that stop me. Facing this discomfort and making it through to the other side makes me proud. To enter into a pageant you don’t have to start off with tons of confidence. Women can gain personal confidence through the pageantry process, regardless of whether or not they walk away with a title. I felt more confident at my second pageant, for example, because I had more experience. Contestants have to practice their runway walks, along with their interview and public speaking skills. Long hours and effort are dedicated to developing and practicing these skills.
To say I dreamed of being a pageant contestant is an understatement. I was thirsty to gain the skills to be confident and eloquent so that I could advocate for more diverse beauty standards, especially in women of all shapes and sizes. I was excited to potentially gain a public platform to raise awareness around the negative impact on women who are conditioned to abide by Eurocentric beauty-standards.
After numerous internal battles, I became undeterred and started the process to compete in my first pageant. Today I’ve competed in two pageants–Miss California Latina and Miss Southern California Cities.
I was excited to participate in what would have been my third pageant–Miss California USA. I figured I could get a lot out of it regardless of the outcome. First, I would know what it’s like to compete in one of the largest and most competitive pageant systems in the state. Having the courage to put myself out there in this way could help me build on my skills and confidence. It would truly be the experience of a lifetime.
Yet, I was afraid that competing in Miss CA USA would jeopardize my relationship with my body. I am thin, but I don’t have a toned body, which most likely would have be judged. I have done a lot of work to improve my body image, but knowing that my body would have been scrutinized made me feel insecure about participating. Moreover, I didn’t like the idea of being part of an organization that places such a high value on the way women look. Although women don’t necessarily have to be very thin to participate in Miss CA USA, the finalists and winners are mostly always thin and tall. All women, thin and fat, toned or not, should be able to win, not just participate.
While I didn’t end up joining in the Miss CA USA pageant, I am still thinking of competing in another pageant, if it feels right for me. I am extremely grateful for pageantry because it inspired me to create my own pageant in the future that is inclusive of women of all shapes and sizes with different capabilities. All women should be able to benefit from the aspects of pageantry that do empower women. We all have the right to be seen and heard no matter what they look like.